Movies I've seen recently - Bratz, National Treasure, Sweeney Todd, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

From my Rotten Tomatoes blog

I'm feeling very gassy after a dinner at Mario's Peruvian Seafood here in LA. A friend of mine wants to go to Don Antonio's of The Hills fame later tonight for second dinner. We'll see if the stomach can handle it with the help of some Pepto (charming, I know. I use The Vine as my subscription-free version of Match.com, if that wasn't obvious).

After that glorious introduction, I thought I would take a second to review some of the movies I've seen recently. I think one of the good parts about having an extremely addictive personality is that when you like something, you REALLY like something. There is no inbetween, no gray area, you are balls to the walls, in it to win it, in there like swim wear.

The bad part about having this kind of personality is that when you're "over" something, you're REALLY over it. Whether that's a food, person (or parent, in my case), celebrity, television show, when you declare you don't like it, you don't like it forever (this is why I don't like you, Sarah from my 11th grade science class. Call me weird again and see if I care).

A pleasant surprise to me is that my newest love is movies. I know that I haven't seen as many movies as "the next guy" (whoever he is and I'm sure he is well endowed), but with all the craziness that goes on in my underdeveloped dinosaur brain, I'm sure to catch up soon as a result of my addictive personality. As a result, I thought I'd take a second to rate some of the flicks that I've flocked (that makes no sense) over the past couple weeks.

Sweeney Todd (87% on the Tomatometer, 7/10 for me)

I'm linking to the Beta. Learn it. Love it.

Why must I SIIiiiNggGG EVERyThinGGgGgg!! AlLlLLl THe TIMeeEEeEe, as IfFFff SpeaKINg Had GOnnNNNe Out OF FasshionNN~!~!!!! I NeEedddd to Get SomE Two PLyYYyy ToiLeTTTTt PAPpEEERRR!!!!

Sweeney wasn't really what I was expecting, but it was close. For some reason, I thought it was going to be a little bit spookier, less stomach curdling, with more haircuts (Barber!! Right?? Not beard shaver!!), and more bloody. I think that everyone who said that Mr. Todd's antics were bloody disgusting (I am too much sometimes! The wit! The cheap laughs!) has never seen Hostel.

After you've seen Eli Roth's blood bath diarrhea fest (figuratively), nothing is that bloody. I did really enjoy the story because I had never seen the musical and I thought dreamboat Johnny Depp did a fantastic job as a stylist to the stars (look out, David Evangelista). There was even more singing in Sweeney than there was in Hairspray, which means it was a wee bit too much for me. I didn't find any of the songs particularly memorable, but I did really enjoy being transported into Todd's dark and dirty world courtesy of Senor Tim Burton. 'Twas good, but I was a wee bit emo after watching it, so I ate the additional $7 in parking fees so I could do the good ole' theater hop straight intooooooo....

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (35% on the Tomatometer, 4/10 for me)

So the jump from Sweeney straight into Treasure was a weird one. I'll start this out by saying that I thought that National Treasure was a National Grumper. In the first Treasure, I felt as though the dialogue was stupid (and not funny) and the things they came up with remind me ideas that small children have while they're playing with their action figures and still have an hour to burn before dinner time.

Hey, let's make some money with a crappy movie!

However, what makes me hate National as a series is that so many people LOVE IT and think that it is one of the greatest movie serieseseseses ever. I don't think it's the worst movie ever, but for people to list this movie on Facebook as one of their favorite movies of all time is worse than me listing You Got Served on my favorite movie list (which I do). So for Treasure hunting fans, have no fear! The tradition of ridiculous dialogue, semi-cool action scenes, and farfetched ideas about the history of the good ole' U S of A continues in the sequel. It is dumb, but it is dumb fun. I wouldn't watch it again, but it was watchable...but stupid.

Bratz: The Movie (7% on the Tomatometer, 1/10 for me)

B-F-F's!

Effing. Kill. Me. This thought went through my head about five times over the course of the nearly two hours that I sat through Bratz, which I had high hopes for. First, I didn't know that you could say "MySpace" so blatantly so many times during a movie ("I LOVE MYSPACE!!!" being my favorite subtle product placement line). Second, I never realized that a teen movie could be so bad that I thought it was beyond bad. Normally, I like most every teen movie because something about it is good - dancing, hotties, jokes, funny asians, pointless nudity, something! NOTHING about Bratz is good.

The girls are too good at everything. They're too smart, talented, and flawless for us to like them. They are all spoiled except for one girl who really needs a scholarship, but still has a walk-in closet (probably just a scholarship for hair products). I can't even begin to talk about this movie without getting annoyed at how incredibly bad it was. It wasn't funny, nor was anything about it cool. I will say that the movie was really colorful, which was nice to watch on my 40" LCD HDTV, but two girls one cup, this movie was awful.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (80% on the Tomatometer, 6/10 for me)

As a teen movie lover, I had to see Fast to see where a lot of the roots of teen movies came from. What I loved about Fast was seeing and hearing a lot of the phrases that people still use today being used in the movie and finally realizing where they came from! From Sean Penn's classic portrayal of a surfer "dude" to Phoebe Cates' famous boobs, there was a lot to like at Ridgemont High. I really enjoyed the movie, though nothing was particularly hilarious about it. The film was entertaining from start to finish and I'm sure that it was very edgy and "hip" in its day.

Mullet! Mullet! Mullet!

I wouldn't say it was one of my favorites, but if I saw the movie when it came out in 1982 (which would have been about a year and a half before I was conceived), I'm sure it would have been at the time. Cool movie and I'm happy that I saw it!

And now, I'm off to watch Superbad. Addictive personality for teh win!